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Showing posts from April, 2019

What part of the car is the laziest?

A: The wheels, because they are always tired!

Why was the broom late?

It over swept!

What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?

A: Someday my prints will come!

Why do dragons sleep during the day?

A: So they can fight knights!

Why do bicycles fall over?

A: Because they are two-tired!

What gets wetter the more it dries?

A: A towel.

What do you call a boy named Lee that no one talks to?

A: Lonely

What did the paper say to the pencil?

A: Write on!

If walls could talk

Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?

 A: I'll meet you at the corner.

Framed

Q: Why did the picture go to jail?

A: Because it was framed.

Toliet humor

Q: What did one toilet say to the other?

A: You look a bit flushed.

Fat Alian

Q: Where should a 500 pound alien go?


A: On a diet

SITTING BY THE FIRE

Q: What happened to the skeleton who stayed by the fire for too long?
A: He became bone dry

LUMBERJACKS

Q: Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
A: They’re LUMBARjacks!

HALLOWEEN MATH

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi

TWO SHIPS PASSING IN THE NIGHT

Q. What did the little boat say to the yacht?
A. Can I interest you in a little row-mance?

A LITTLE BIRD WHISPERED

Q. What do you call two birds in love?
A. Tweet-hearts!

I’LL CALL YOU

Q. How did the phone propose to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
A. He gave her a ring.

LOVABLE MONSTERS

Q. What does the ghost call his true love?
A. My ghoul-friend.

YOU CAN FLY

Q. Why is Peter Pan flying all the time?
A. He Neverlands!

THE GLASS SLIPPERS DON’T HELP

Q. Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?
A. Because she always runs away from the ball!

DO THE MONSTER MATH

Q. Are any Halloween monsters good at math?
A. No—unless you Count Dracula!

CRACKING UP

Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?


A: To make up for his miserable summer.

I DON’T BOO-LIEVE YOU

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?


A. Because you can see right through them!

LOST BALLOONS NEVER BOTHERED HER ANYWAY

Q: Why shouldn’t you give Elsa a balloon?


A. Because she’ll let it go!

MICKEY’S CAREER CHANGE

Q. Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut?


A. So he could visit Pluto!

PUMPKIN PEDESTRIANS

Q. Who helps little pumpkins cross the road on the way to school?


A. The Crossing Gourd!

SUPERMAN’S COSTUME

Q: Why are all of Superman’s costumes tight?


A: They’re all size S.

SKELETON WEATHERMAN

Q: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain on Halloween?


A: He could feel it in his bones!

SKELETON CHASE

Q: Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?


A: Because a dog was after his bones!

FOR YOUNG PADAWANS

Q. What do you call a droid that likes taking the scenic route?


A. R2-Detour!

THAT CANDY IS FOR THE BIRDS

Q: What do birds say on Halloween to get candy?


A: Twick-or-tweet

AT LEAST SHE HAS A GOOD SUN HAT!

Q: What do you call a witch who lives on a beach?


A: A sand-witch

BOO-TIFUL HAIR

Q: What do ghosts use to wash their hair?


A: Sham-BOO!

GHOSTS ON VACATION

Q: Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation?


A: The Dead Sea!

HALLOWEEN RECESS

Q: What is a recess at a mortuary called? A: A Coffin Break!

PANDA GHOST

Q: What does a panda ghost eat? A: Bam-BOO!

WITCH FOR LUNCH

Q: What is the name of the witch who lives in the desert? A: Sand-witch!

LOCKED CEMETERY

Q: How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night? A: Use a Skeleton Key to unlock the gates!

SPOOKY GHOST PARENTS

Q: What does a ghost call his mom and dad? A: His transparents.

MUMMY MUSIC

Q: What genre of music does a mummy like the best? A: Wrap!

SKELETON MUSIC

Q: What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? A: A Trombone!

VAMPIRE HOLIDAY

Q: What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? A: Fangs-giving!

GHOST GLASSES

Q: What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred? A: Spooktacles

INTERRUPTING GHOST

Q: What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting? A: “Spook when you’re spooken to.”

WITCH HOTEL GUEST

Q: What do witches ask for at hotels? A: Broom service!

GHOST MAKEUP

Q: What do female ghosts use to do their makeup? A: Vanishing Cream!

CEMETERY STORY

Q: Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story? A: Because there are so many plots there!

DRACULA’S DOG

Q: What dog breed would Dracula love to have as a pet? A: Blood hound!

ITALIAN GHOSTS

Q: What do Italian ghosts have for dinner? A: Spook-hetti!

BROKEN PUMPKIN

Q: How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern? A: You use a pumpkin patch!